Archbishop of Cantebury

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams

Archbishop Rowan Williams has barged to the forefront of the petty gossip of dominant opinion in his attacks against Mother Church.

His insensitive and irresponsible attacks on Myself and my Glorious Church have once again left us open to the perils of apostasy and oppression.

Such attacks and blatantly false accusations against Myself and My Church really do make me question my faith in humanity's reasonableness

How can they criticise me?

Do they not understand that God speaks directly to me?

That I am Infallible, that by the action of the Holy Spirit himself I am prevented from even the possibility of an error.

I don't pretend to understand how this infallibility works.

Apparently it has something to do with the big gold chair I sit on.

A physicist tried to explain it to one of my predecessors once but we, as we say in Germany, verbrannten ihn bei lebendigem leibe, on a big pile of sticks.

Catholic Oppression

It is very easy to forget that we Catholics are in a minority on this planet (at 1.131 billion we compromise only a sixth of the world's population) and are in a very real danger of violence, pogroms and forced confiscation of Catholic Church property.

Luckily I have it on very good authority that the proportion of Catholics to others in heaven is much more pleasing.

The List

1. Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51),
2. The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26),
3. Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27),
4. Fornicators (Romans 1:29),
5. The Wicked (Romans 1:29),
6. The Covetous (Romans 1:29),
7. The Malicious (Romans 1:29),
8. The Envious (Romans 1:29),
9. Murderers (Romans 1:29),
10. The Deceitful (Romans 1:29),
11. Backbiters (Romans 1:30),
12. Haters of God (Romans 1:30),
13. The Despiteful (Romans 1:30),
14. The Proud (Romans 1:30),
15. Boasters (Romans 1:30),
16. Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30),
17. Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30),
18. Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31),
19. The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31),
20. The Implacable (Romans 1:31),
21. The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9),
22. Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9),
23. Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9),
24. The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9),
25. Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10),
26. Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10),
27. Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10),
28. Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10),
29. The Fearful (Revelation 21:8),
30. The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8),
31. The Abominable (Revelation 21:8),
32. Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8),
33. Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8),
34. All Liars (Revelation 21:8)